Drawing a Blank
I think I've reached my mental limit. I had my first official breakdown yesterday, so you could say I'm defanitely feeling the pressure! AH!
What is scary now is that I'm having moments while acting of complete blankness. For example, during my Theatre Projects audition, while in the midst of a monologue I'd been working on almost everyday for a month ... suddenly nothing. Couldn't even flub my way through a dropped line. I totally just stared into space for what seemed like 5 minutes (probably 5 seconds - 5 excrutiating seconds!) Of course I recoverd and carried on and my second piece went better than usual, but still - BLANK! This has also been happening while working on my plays - On Wallflowers I'll just jump ahead 5 pages, it's freaky. So, when rehearsing for Stratford on Monday and I drew a complete blank in one of my monologues I just lost it. I'm freaked that I'll blow this audition, because I've worked so hard. But that's the thing, I've been working so hard on EVERYTHING and it seems like I am barely keeping it all together ... Now I'm ranting. It's just freaky, mostly because Alzheimers runs in my family, so when I have memory loss I do worry probably more than I have to.
Ok, now that I'm done the rant, it's time to pimp Comedy of Errors - Comedy 101. We decided not to present the whole play on Thursday - both to save some highlights for the official run in August, and also because some scenes are weaker than others, and we don't want to show anything below par. So, come out and support Theatre by the River and see an interesting interpretation of The Comedy of Errors on Thursday, and enjoy some tasty treats courtesy of the cast as well! (Show details in post titled Measure some Comedy!)
2 fun things to do on Friday:
SubCity Dwellers Tour 2006 Kick off! at Shannon's Irish Pub, from 10pm - 2am. Bring your Pub membership card to get in the door!
La La LA Dispute Fundraiser upstairs at the King's Head. $6 and there is a silent auction as well. La Dispute is the UofW Fringe show that will be at the Warehouse this summer!
I'm not sure what I'll do - support my friend's band or Fringe show ... maybe I'll just stay home and sleep, and desperately try to increase my momory space.
posted by MEL @ 11:37 PM
5 comments
5 Comments:
Take solace in tonight's news - that alzheimer disease pathogens exist in people with no real symptoms of the disease... people who keep intellectually active.
In other words, as long as you use it, you don't lose it. So keep reading and engaging with things and you'll be fine!
I know what you mean about blanking - and without meaning to pat you on the head, don't put so much pressure on yourself!
Easier said than done, I know. Just believe in what you're doing and find ways to love it. Those reasons for loving what you're doing are still there, they're just underneath that gooey, pussy scab you've been picking away at. But they're there ;)
Thanks James! I saw that report too and it was a good relief. And I am having lots of fun, I just worry when I think about disappointing people.
BUT there's still plenty of time before the Fringe opens, so I"m sure I'll get it together by then (I hope!)
melly, i looooove you
and you are doing AMAZING with so much on your plate (i would have murdered someone by now with your workload)
you're going to do great because you're prepared and you're genuine and you DO know how to seize the moment
ti amo
-matt
Hey Mel, just wondering if you were doing any productions in the near future. Thought I would drop by and check it out if you were.
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